Are You a Client Pleaser? And Hurting Your Body?

"More pressure."

I dug my elbow deeper into his quadratus lumborum.

"More pressure."

I leaned in harder, using my body weight now.

"More pressure."

I was a newly licensed massage therapist working at a fitness club. My client was a cardiologist.

He was a doctor. Surely he knew what his body needed better than I did.

So I kept going deeper.

The whole time, I'm thinking: How can his body take this much pressure? I feel like I'm injuring him. And me.

But he kept asking for more.

And I kept saying yes.

After that session, I felt exhausted.

Like a bad therapist.

Like I'd failed somehow, even though I'd given him exactly what he asked for.

He never came back.

I hadn't yet mastered Myofascial Release—the kind of hands-on technique where you sink into resistance and hold until the tissue releases on its own.

I was still operating under the assumption that more pressure for clients seeking deep tissue work equals better service.

That's the lie we tell ourselves as bodyworkers.

And it nearly destroyed my hands.

I kept saying yes when clients asked for more—digging deeper with my thumbs, forcing tissue that wasn't ready, ignoring the pain in my own body because I didn't want to disappoint them.

I thought I was being a good therapist.

I was actually teaching my body—and my clients—that force equals healing.

It doesn't.

After continuously hurting my thumbs trying to please clients who wanted "more," I decided something had to change.

I started educating my clients before the session even began.

Now, I say this:

"I go in as far as your tissue allows, and I wait for it to relax and release the tension. If it's too much—if you find yourself tensing your muscles, holding your breath, gritting your teeth, or wishing I was in a different room—it's your job to tell me. I go as far as your tissue allows, but sometimes there's inflammation or a prior injury that makes you more sensitive than I can detect."

I stopped asking "Do you want more pressure?"

I stopped talking during sessions so we could both stay tapped into the energy of healing, not the performance of going deeper.

At first, I was scared.

What if clients didn't like it? What if they thought I wasn't doing anything because I wasn't moving the whole time?

But here's what actually happened:

My clients started getting real results. Lasting results.

And I stopped destroying my body to deliver them.

A client recently wanted a 7pm Friday night appointment for a 90-minute Goddess Healing Experience.

The old me would've said yes. Booked it. Then spent the entire session exhausted and resentful.

Instead, I said: "Any chance you're available Sunday morning? I'm best in the morning. By 7pm at night, I'm exhausted. You deserve my best."

He agreed. We settled on 8am Sunday.

When we met, he told me he was grateful we didn't do Friday night. He'd been exhausted from his work week and the long drive.

Not every client responds well to boundaries.

Some want you to "fix" them in an hour when they've had the issue for months. Or years.

They don't become my regular clients.

But the clients who are truly seeking healing?

They're open to anything that works. They're invested in their own transformation.

Those are my premium clients. And with them, it's easy to serve well—because we're both showing up ready to do the work.

Now, after a session where I hold my boundary, I feel invigorated.

Like I made a difference. Like there was a real connection and healing happened on multiple levels.

When I don't hold my boundary? I feel used. Exhausted. Ineffective.

You can't force relaxation or healing.

Not for yourself. Not for anyone.

If you're still saying yes when your body is saying stop, you're not going to have a long career.

At Selfish Saturday, we're learning how to work WITH your body instead of against it. How to set boundaries that keep you in this career for the long haul.

Your Body is Your Business and YOU are the CEO.

Selfish Saturday: November 22, 2025
Half-day workshop | NCBTMB approved | West Michigan
Register at goddessapproach.com